Tuesday Morning Hangover Week 9: Against Anti-Bullying

By. S. James Hyland - InReeseWeTrust.com 11/9/10

So in schools these days there is a huge campaign against anti-bullying.  The commercial that I’ve seen most often shows one kid who is getting bullied, another kid who does the bullying and a third kid who has to make a decision on what to do (he ends up getting an adult).  And, although I was never bullied, and don’t think I was ever a bully, I for the most part agree that bullying should be outlawed in schools.  But in the NFL, when it’s your team, there’s no better feeling.

After the G-Men scored their third TD, I actually felt somewhat badly for the home Seahawks.  When Bradshaw ran up the middle for 4 yards, I literally felt like I was watching a bully beating up on a nerd.  But then I flashed back to the Giants getting pummeled by the Titans and Colts (one of which I was at), and it makes you appreciate how bullying in the NFL is a fantastic thing.

 

Now, I’m not letting this win get to my head.  The Seahawks got destroyed by the Raiders, so you have to take this win with a grain of salt, but at the same time, is there a single team in the league that wants to play the Giants?  And on the flip side, is there a team in the NFL that you don’t think the Giants can beat?  They look absolutely phenomenal.  The Defense is meanacing, the offense is clicking on all cylindars, and best of all Dodge was barely on the field

Now, I know they usually don’t reward alcoholics with anything, but how is it even possible at this point that I haven’t at least gotten free Coronas and Bud Lights from the Giants?  This winning streak is all thanks to me and my formula.  I tried not to focus my entire column on it, but this is almost getting outrageous now.  And it turns out that Bud Light is a great beer on offense.  The team just needed to get used to it for a few weeks.

But that’s enough for last week.  Let’s look forward to the real game.  Next week I’ll be in the Meadowlands with my Cowboy fan father watching Big Blue take on the Cowboys.  There is a major issue here though.  I most likely will not be able to do the formula while sitting in the stands.  First off because it’s tough to find Corona in the stadium, and second because if I keep up my current drinking habits, then I’d be down about $150 next week.

Because of this, I’m sending out a plea to anyone who reads this column (most likely it’s only 4 of you).  Please, I need someone to do my drinking while I can not.  It’s very easy.  Coronas on defense, Bud Light on offense.  When we’re punting, you drink Bud Light until the kick returner on their team catches the ball.  And same then with Corona until the Giants get possession.

Please feel free to comment if you are willing to step up to the plate.  And as a disclaimer, my liver is basically destroyed after 10 years of drinking.  So, if you want to do the formula, please don’t kill yourself.  But don’t wuss out either.  Follow through on it.  God Speed.