By S. James Hyland - InReeseWeTrust.com 12/7/10
Last week I was pretty banged up when I wrote the column. I wish I could say that I was 100% for this week. But no, I got hammered on Friday and Saturday. And for my probably 2 readers, I’ll give a justly right, eloquent description of what happened over my kooky, riveting weekend (yes, there we subliminal messages in there. Also, yes, I’ve basically tossed away me writing about the Giants. Instead I’m going to describe how drunk I get every weekend so that everyone reading this can feel better about their own life. Nevertheless, I graduated from the best Communications college in the nation, Cum Laude. This is my life…)
So Friday night I had a going away party for someone that I work with. I decided to sprint into that marathon and drink 12 beers and 2 shots before the open bar was over. Apparently I talked to pretty important people at my company and don’t remember doing this at all.
Let’s jump ahead to Saturday when I got “sick” but was still forced to set up Christmas decorations. Terrible feeling. Later on that night I went to an ugly Christmas sweater party where I dominated. I had a sweater with a full light up chipmunk on it that sang songs. I also drank more than 94% of humanity could imagine. I guess that’s what will happen when you go to a party with 3 kegs and free Jell-O shots. Oh well
Sunday morning I woke up feeling about 20%, and I was exhausted. After basically forcing a bagel down into my stomach, I went over to Woody’s to watch the game. When I walked in he informed me how we still had half a keg left over from the night before. So I knew what I had to do.
For the record, only myself and Woody drank during the game. All of the other 5 people there were too sick to even give it a go. I consider this my dedication to the team.
The first beer was tough to get down my gullet. The second was a little bit easier. By the third (other than a small headache on my left temple) the rest went right down.
I could talk about how Bud Light from a keg really helped the Giants win. Or how the run game was significantly improved when I drank it. But rather than go into that, I want to congratulate myself on finally getting through to Matt Dodge. Did you see how high he jumped after his punt went to the 5? I wasn’t that happy when I got a Super Nintendo for Christmas when I was 8 years old (give or take on the year). Congrats Matthew
I mentioned how everyone was real banged up from the night before. Well, I would like to point out that only myself and 2 others stayed awake the entire game. Everyone would pass out for a few minutes, then act as if nothing happened. Pretty funny every time we caught someone new asleep.
Once the game ended though, I laid right down on the couch, and passed out for about 45 minutes, only to awake when I had to go to dinner with my parents, and I was still drunk. Yes, they’re very proud of me.
No comments:
Post a Comment