Thursday, October 7, 2010

Just Sayin': New York Giants vs. Houston Texans Week 5

 By Rachel Swett - InReeseWeTrust.com 10/7/10

Almost only counts in horse-shoes and hand grenades.  This was the good news for Eli Manning and the New York Giants on Sunday.  Big Blue had so many ALMOST-interceptions and awkward moments that watching the game reminded me of a middle school dance.  Cris Collinsworth hit the nail on the head this week when he said “someone oughta put a tent over this circus.”  Now, the Giants weren’t the only team causing the ball to wobble through the air more often than bras at a Justin Timberlake concert, but it was still just as painful to watch.  I’m a stat sheet girl by nature and usually analyzing the trends will reveal the key strengths and weaknesses of both teams, and paint a good picture of the game that had taken place.  But every now and then, the clowns and jugglers make for a game that simply cannot be explained by numbers.  Exhibit A: Week 4, Chicago vs. New York.  This game was a perfect illustration of one of the major issues that has been plaguing Big Blue in recent years.

The worst part is I expected it.  Call me jaded, but lately the overall presence of the Giants has been inconsistent and fluctuating.  They may be as under-rated as candy corn but intangibles can be the difference between a Super Bowl season and getting ousted in week 1 of the playoffs.  The statistics are important, but the way you go about achieving them can be equally as important.  A bloop single in the Major Leagues might as well be a line drive up the middle, just like all of Eli’s almost-interceptions will go down on paper as simple incompletions.  Any fan or analyst who hadn’t seen the game might read those stats and simply shrug.  To watch how they happened, though, leaves you madder than a skinhead watching the Jeffersons.  No wonder I’m 25 and can already see forehead wrinkles and gray hairs! 

The consistency and quiet swagger that some teams exude is impressive and instrumental to winning the mental battle.  The way they carry themselves with quiet confidence (and sometimes not-so-quiet strength) is exciting to watch and can make a great deal of difference in the W-L column.  This hasn’t been the Giants’ M.O. in a long time, and especially wasn’t the case on Sunday.  Mario Manningham’s ability to pull rabbits out of his hat with a few genius catches along with Eli’s escape act marched us up the field more than once.  Ahmad Bradshaw made yards appear where there weren’t any in sight, and Brandon Jacobs transformed before our eyes into a guy who could actually run straight!  But then, Will Smith would swoop down and memory erase all of us.  Seriously that’s the only explanation why after all of that magic, almost without fail the drive was instantly negated by a red zone turnover or a missed field goal.  I swear, SO often we get so close and don’t actually FINISH, if I were a guy I’d have blue footballs.  If I were Tom Coughlin I’d paint the balls they practice with blue to send a message.  Just sayin.’

Speaking of mister “at least I’m better than Jim Fassell,” a LOT of fans who’d rather see him go scratch, but there is a lot of good to be said about what Tom Coughlin has done.  I mean hello, SUPER BOWL.  BUT, that’s a whole other article and frankly I don’t have the word allowance.  I will say, though, that this lack of identity is for the most part his responsibility.  While the redeeming facets of our play are in fact a product of good coaching, the shanks, dropsies, turnovers and bloopers are also Coughlin’s job to prevent.  Matt “shankapotamus” Dodge, and Lawrence “wait, I’m paid to WHAT?” Tynes are as consistent as my 3 year old sister’s vocabulary, and the entire O-line can’t decide if they’d rather do some blocking, or watch the defense clean up the mess.  Tom needs to have Eli & company sit down and watch film of how their defensive counter-parts carry themselves.  Now there’s swagger. 

There is, in fact, something to be said about winning ugly.  While the offense and special teams couldn’t figure out which way was up, the defense came in with their brooms and dust pans and swept the floor with Jay Cutler.  I won’t lie: I had a good time watching Chicago crumble.  It may sound harsh, but I’ve always been as big a Jay Cutler fan as I have been of a good purple nurple.  Big Blue D has out-played and out-swagged all but one other defense in the NFL thus far, and made sure the Bears knew all about THEIR identity this week.  With such a good example of presence and confidence, the other side of the ball should take a lesson. 

Tom’s gotta get these guys in line.  We’ve seen the same personnel absolutely dominate in the past, so there’s no excuse.  This season the offensive play calling has been as wishy washy as Lindsay Lohan behind the wheel, and the execution has been as good as her lawyers were at keeping her out of jail.  It’s up to the coaching staff to know what they want their team to look like, and follow through on that vision.  Right now all Tom Coughlin can see is red.  Of course, I’d be pissed at the show they put on Sunday also.  I mean, when Eli is on his game he can look a lot like his big brother, but when he’s not, he’s REALLY not.  And when Bradshaw ISN’T admiring himself on the jumbo-tron instead of noticing the defender RIGHT BEHIND HIM he actually looks like he could be NFL leading rusher material.  But when the ball ended up on the ground and the circus began I’d be pissed at MYSELF for letting such kickass players flounder for stupid reasons.  Or for no reason at all.   

I don’t know about you, but as a diehard fan I’m tired of waiting for the hard-nosed, bad ass, tough-as-nails persona of the Giants I once loved to come back.  I know it’s in there somewhere, but SOMEONE has to hold these guys accountable for how they look.  WILL THE REAL GIANTS OFFENSE PLEASE STAND UP.  Just Sayin’.

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